A New Book About Stillbirth

And this time, I'm in it.

Well, not exactly "in" it; I'm actually the author of one essay in a book slated to be published in November. It's called They Were Still Born: Personal Stories of Stillbirth. I was contacted by the book's editor, Janel Atlas, over a year ago to ask if I would be interested in contributing an essay to her proposed anthology, and I agreed. I'm very excited to hold a copy of the book in my hands.

It's available for pre-order now at Amazon.

Writing and Yoga

So, I expect you've noticed the yellow icon over there about yoga and writing. I'm doing a yoga and writing challenge for 21 days, just because. I've got some lower back issues that like to crop up from time to time, and yoga helps alleviate some of the trouble. Yoga is also good for my mental health, which is more important to me at the moment, quite honestly. I'm little miss stressed, generally.

As far as the writing, well, I've been working on some things, and though I'm in the editing stage right now, a challenge is a useful thing for me. I don't have as much time as I'd like to be part of the community of individuals taking the challenge, but I'm there in spirit. So no, I'm not writing 800 words a day, but I'm editing that many most days, if not more. And getting in a few sun salutations or warrior poses too.

If you're curious about the challenge, click on over to Bindu Wiles's site. What are you challenging yourself to do these days by way of self-improvement?

Please

If you're pregnant, don't send me an e-mail with the subject "Bad News." Because when I work up the courage to read it and discover there is NOTHING truly bad in the body of that message, I will spend the rest of the day trying not to weep.

School's (Almost) Out for the Summer

With less than a week of school left for my 3rd grader, I thought I'd turn to the lighter side of life and list a few summer goals for my family. (A girl's gotta have a dream.)

This summer, I hope to convince my children of the following:

1. It only takes 5 steps to move from the left of the kitchen sink, where you normally place your dirty dishes, to directly in front of the dishwasher, where you can place them directly in said receptacle, freeing your mother up from an extra 15 seconds of work 36,322 times per day.

2. Bickering with your sibling may commence at 7:59 a.m., but not a moment before.

3. While the ice cream truck may pass by our house twice each day, you're not getting a treat any more than once a month. If you're lucky.

4. Foods with high fructose corn syrup, that are overly processed, or colored any kind of unnatural shade (I'm talkin' to you, Cheetos) are not a healthy part of anyone's diet.

5. TV is a privilege, not a right.

My personal summer goals:

1. Lose 10 lbs. (This has been a goal for the last, oh, 40 years of my life.)

2. Beat the overgrowth in my yard into submission, once and for all. (This has been in progress for 5 years.)

3. Maintain (some might say find) my sanity.

4. Organize the piles of papers, books and child artwork littering my house. Perhaps even unionize those dust bunnies.

5. Win the lottery. (But since you have to play to win, and the only time I've bought a lottery ticket was actually when my grandmother-in-law purchased one for me....well, you know.)

Anyone care to share summer goals, real or imagined?

Turn Around

Where are you going, my little one, little one?
Where are you going, my baby, my own?

Turn around and you're two

Turn around and you're four

Turn around and you're a young boy
Going out of the door

. . .Where have they gone
My babies, my own
Turn around and they’re young
Turn around and they’re old
Turn around and they’re gone
And we’ve no one to hold.

* * *

My baby boy "graduated" from preschool this week, and I wonder, like the words of this song, where my baby has gone. I miss him even as he is with me, as every minute seems to bring changes and with every passing moment he grows up. As he should. 

Because I lost Ben, maybe I love my children more, now. Maybe I appreciate where they are in every moment, how precious they are. But I still wish I could keep them small for a little while longer. If I could change one thing about myself, it would be this: how hard it is for me to let my babies go, how sentimental I feel with each milestone. How much I wish I could squeeze this time into a bottle and keep it with me forever.

How much I will miss right now, when it's over.

Life is Too Short

I think those of us who have lost a child know a little too well just how short life is. And I could write a sad, serious post about just how short life is after you've lost a child, but that's not what I'm going to do today.

How about a little comic relief instead? I'm writing this post in conjunction with TwitterMoms, who are giving away copies of a new book, "Life is Too Short to Fold Fitted Sheets: Your Ultimate Guide to Domestic Liberation" by Lisa Quinn. About the author: Lisa Quinn is known as the House Doctor on the ABC San Francisco show, "View From the Bay."

So here's my list for what life is too short for:

1. Life is too short to hold a grudge. It doesn't do anyone any good and sucks up time and energy you could use for happier pursuits.

2. Life is too short to worry about the dust bunnies under the bed.

3. Life is too short to polish the furniture.

4. Life is too short to drink bad wine. (I might argue that it's too short to drink Californian wine, but to each his own.)

5. Life is too short to NOT each chocolate every day.

6. Life is too short to not say "I love you" on a daily basis.

7. Life is too short to worry about what other people think. And let's face it, they're probably worrying about what you're thinking, so it's all wasted energy. If you're happy with yourself, that's all that matters.

8. Life is too short to put off the reunion with your college friends. (This is a reminder to myself. I miss my girls.)

I could go on for quite a while on this topic, and as it turns out, I wasn't as funny as I thought I might be. I'm sure that won't surprise many people.

What is on your "life is too short" list?

A Blessing for Mothers

My virtual friend Sula Lee posted this prayer on her blog on Mother's Day. I really liked it and thought I'd share it with you:

Today we bless mothers who sat up all night with sick toddlers saying, "It's OK honey, Mommy's here.

Today we bless mothers who gave birth to babies they may never see. And the mothers who took those babies forever to be their own children.

Today we bless mothers who attended ball games, recitals, rehearsals, etc. etc. and said, "I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and meant it.

Today we bless mothers who show up for work with milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.

Today we bless mothers who put pinwheels, teddy bears, or flowers on children's graves.

Today we bless mothers whose children have gone astray, who haven't the words to reach them, and yet have never put them from their heart.

Today we bless new mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation. And today we bless mature mothers who are learning to let go.

Today we bless all mothers: working mothers, stay-at-home mothers, single mothers, and married mothers. We also bless all women in life giving and nurturing roles. We thank you. We honor you. We bless you. Amen.

- adapted from a prayer of Dan Bottorff