Proposed Amendment to the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA)

Kelly Farley of the Grieving Dads Project has started an online petition to amend the Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993 (FMLA) to include the death of a child as part of allowable reasons to ask for leave from work. Currently in the US, grieving parents receive whatever time off their company will allow them after the death of a child, normally only a few days. In my husband's case, he was granted two.

Two days.

I was a stay-at-home/work-at-home parent at the time, so the FMLA did not apply to me. The FMLA allows 12 weeks of time off to take care of an ill spouse or family member without fear that you will lose your job because of your absence.

From Kelly's blog:

"It is my opinion that the death of a child is one of the worst experiences that anyone can endure.  Many employers allow for bereavement leave up to 2-3 days.  Employees are expected to use their available vacation time after the 2-3 days of bereavement leave have been expended.  If the employee exhausts both of these benefits and still requires additional time off the employer has grounds to terminate the employee.

I find it unacceptable that the death of a child is not included as a protected reason to qualify for 12 weeks of unpaid leave as part of the FMLA.  If you agree with me, I ask you to do two things:  1) Click on the link below and sign the e-petition and 2) Share this link with people you know by emails it to your contacts."


If you agree, go here, and sign the petition.

"A Part of Us Died With Our Kids"

I just came across this article (thanks to Kelly Farley) about three men, friends, athletes, basketball coaches, who all lost a baby. It's on the Yahoo! Sports page online, not a place I normally go, but it's worth reading because it's true (though you may not agree with their religious understanding of why their children died, it's refreshing to read male perspectives on baby loss).

Billy Donovan. John Pelphrey. Anthony Grant. NCAA coaches. Grieving fathers supporting each other, and reminding us that it never gets easier. But at least we're not alone.

For Grieving Dads

Kelly Farley, a bereaved father of a daughter and a son, has created a website for grieving dads. He is aiming to write a book designed just for grieving fathers, and I must say, I think this would be a welcome addition to grief literature. Here's a bit from his site, Grieving Dads.

"This project is designed to reach out to all bereaved dads and to provide a conduit to share their stories. One of my goals is to bring awareness to the impacts that child loss has on fathers and to let society know that it’s okay for a father to grieve the loss of a child. A father shouldn’t have to hide his pain or feel ashamed to show his emotions."

He is looking for fathers to answer some questions, via his website, as part of his research for the book. If you, or your spouse/partner, or someone you know, might be able to help him out, send them his link.