Every year, 26,000 babies are stillborn in America. In 2003, one of them was my son.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

31 Questions

C., over at My Resurfacing, tagged me for this meme. A little fun is always a good thing, so here goes:

1. Where is your cell phone? In my purse or on the kitchen counter.

2. Where is your significant other? Downtown, at work.

3. Your hair color? Blonde.

4. Your mother? More talented than she knows.

5. Your father? Really smart.

6. Your favorite thing? A cup of coffee, a good book, and a sunny day. (Ok, that's three.)

7. Your dream last night? Don't recall any.

8. Your dream/goal? Publishing my book.

9. The room you are in? The living room.

10. Your hobby? Don't have enough time for hobbies.

11. Your fear? I will lose another child.

12. Where do you want to be in six years? Not living in this town, and successful in my career.

13. Where were you last night? Home.

14. What you're not? Where I want to be in my life.

15. One of your wish list items? More time.

16. Where you grew up? Ephrata, PA.

17. The last thing you did? Vacuumed.

18. What are you wearing? Jeans, an old t-shirt and an old cardigan - my cleaning clothes.

19. Your T.V.? Wonderful for distracting the kids.

20. Your pet? None. But wishing for a cat.

21. Your computer? Indispensable.

22. Your mood? Stressed.

23. Missing someone? Every second of every day.

24. Your car? A Volvo wagon. How yuppie of me.

25. Something you're not wearing? A hat.

26. Favorite store? D├ęcor? Clothing? Shoes? Umm.... wow. Shoes: the red mary-jane-ish pumps I bought in August - I LOVE those shoes. Clothing: My Levi's jeans, which are wearing out. Decor: Hmm. I love several - so let's say kind of eclectic, but don't look at my home and assume that's what I've got! Favorite store: I think the only stores I go to are the grocery store, TJ Maxx, Target, Marshalls and Michaels. Boring. Probably TJ Maxx.

27. Your Summer? Went too quickly.

28. Love someone? Yes.

29. Your favorite color? Blue.

30. When is the last time you laughed? Yesterday.

31. Last time you cried? Last week.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Pregnancy and Infant Loss - Still in the Dark

It's National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day - right in the middle of Breast Cancer Awareness Month and on the same day as Blog Action Day, when bloggers around the country post on a selected topic, which this year is poverty. Stillbirth, again, as always, lost in the shuffle of other issues - the economy, the election, other topics deemed more important, more noteworthy, more acceptable for public consumption.

But dead babies? Are they no big deal? It seems they are only a big deal to pro-lifers who picket outside abortion clinics, holding up their grisly photos for all the world to see.

Why are dead babies, those stillborn and delivered too soon, a big deal only to their grieving mothers and fathers? Today alone, 71 babies will be stillborn in this country. Think about that. That's approximately three 2nd-grade classrooms the size of my daughter's class, vanishing every day. Worldwide, approximately 10,958 babies will be stillborn today. That's about 4,000 more lives than the total population of that town in Alaska we keep hearing about, Wasilla, population 7,028.

How many articles in newspapers, magazines, on TV or online have you seen this year about autism? Dozens, I suspect. How many about stillbirth? One? Two, tops? Unless you are actively searching for news on stillbirth, you'll very rarely find it. While stillbirth takes the life of 1 out of every 115 babies in this country, autism affects 1 out of every 150 children. Why the disparity in the news?

Oh, right, I remember now. It's because stillbirth is about dead babies, and we don't want to talk about that. But if autism is an "epidemic," as I have read in some articles, why is stillbirth, which touches more lives, not?

You - we - can change this. There is currently a bill sitting in the House of Representatives, House Bill 5979, the Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act of 2008. By writing to our representatives, we could ensure that this bill is passed. Passage would require the Secretary of Health and Human Services (HHS) to develop a national, standard definition of stillbirth and a standard protocol for stillbirth data collection and surveillance. This bill would also require the Secretary of the HHS to carry out a national campaign to increase public awareness and knowledge of stillbirth, much as the "Back to Sleep" campaign has done for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

We can save babies. We may not ever be able to save them all, but with research, we can certainly save some portion of those 26,000 we lose every year in the United States. No parent should go through the kind of heartbreak I have been through. No parent should spend the rest of her life wondering, 'What if?'

This day is set aside for remembering our little souls, who took a piece of us with them when they left us. Today, and every day, I remember Ben, and I remember Sam and Jack, Sophie, Henry, the twins, Dylan and Riley, and all the other babies who never came home.