Every year, 26,000 babies are stillborn in America. In 2003, one of them was my son.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

My Two Boys

We traveled to my parent's house this past Friday for my Dad's 70th birthday celebration, and this morning my dad handed me a piece of paper containing genealogical information - my name, place of birth, date of birth, my grandparents, my husband's information, our daughter's birthdate and name. It's all part of a genealogical project taking place near where he grew up in Lansdale, PA.

My dad gave me the paper and explained what it was, and said, "I've got you and Charlotte in there, but I haven't done your two boys, but I thought you could do that while you're here."

My two boys. I don't think anyone's ever said that to me before, and I couldn't believe how good it sounded to me. I can't even remember thinking it to myself - it's far too dangerous and sad a thing to do.

But he said it, your two boys. And I am reminded, again, how important it is, for those of us for whom a child is permanently missing, to be acknowledged. How desperately we want our children to be remembered.


Katey Coffing, Ph.D. said...


Monica H said...

I am a mother of two boys! Both my babies were born early and died and although deep in my heart I know I am a mother, it feels a little strange to say it aloud sometimes. It really feels good too when other people acknowledge that they were born and they are real. I think it's just easier for people to think that miscarriages or stillborns are only fetus' and not real babies, then they don't have to grieve. Meanwhile it hurts us even more. Many blessings to you and your family.

Kami said...

How wonderful. We lost our son shortly after birth nearly 3 years ago now and I don't think anyone has acknowledged his life in such away (outside of my husband).

I hope this blog helps you heal