Every year, 26,000 babies are stillborn in America. In 2003, one of them was my son.

Monday, September 14, 2009

What I Don't Want To Do

What I don't want to do tomorrow is go to a card store to pick out a sympathy card for the parents of a young man who died yesterday in a motorcycle accident. I don't want to purchase a card to send to his grandparents, either. I don't want to think about his mother and what she was like as a teenager--full of life, always smiling--and how she feels tonight. I don't want to think about his family, spending the rest of their lives missing him, wondering what might have been.

What I don't want to do is spend the rest of my life afraid that I will lose another child. I don't want to know that, far more often than anyone cares to think, children die. I don't want to know some of what those parents are feeling. I don't want to be part of a world where tragedies occur every minute of every day.

What I don't want is to be this sad.


Monica H said...

My heart go out to his parents. I am so sorry for their loss.

when we first moved into our house there was a motorcycle accident a couple blocks from our house. There's been a cross and flowers on the side of the road ever since. His name is Jacob and I think if him and his family everytime I drive by.

I pray that you can be there for them and offer them strength even if you don't know how.

Debbie said...

Oh Virginia. :-( I'm so sorry, and so sad for his family.

mrsmuelly said...

How very, very sad. It is so true that there is so much more loss than we would ever care to think. Amazing that it took each of us becoming part of this "club" to realize it...to know it...to live it...and to support eachother. My heart goes out to the family.

Kami said...

I am so sorry for his family and friends.

In the middle of the night when I think about how fragile our hold on life really is, I sometimes wish we never had a child. Before LB was born I knew I could survive anyone's death except my husband's. If he died, I would just kill myself.

Now the fear of LB or Brad (or me) dying overwhelms me sometimes. I have to talk myself back from the edge because we can't really predict and save our loved ones from every potential tragedy. We have to, as you say, find some balance between living our lives like we will all live forever and doing what we can to mitigate risk.

Sula Lee said...

Hi Virginia -

I was curious about you after reading your comments on my blog so I checked out yours! You are such an amazing and compassionate person. I am so very sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.