Every year, 26,000 babies are stillborn in America. In 2003, one of them was my son.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Seven Years Without You

There's little to say today, seven years on. Ben is missed, and thought of, as he is every day. Have I healed? Yes, as much as anyone could. I am happy, despite missing Ben, despite loving him fiercely and desperately wanting to know who he would be today.

Seven years. Hard to believe.

That's 2,557 days that he's been gone. 61,368 hours. Seven birthdays. A new baby brother, now in kindergarten, two new cats, plans to move next summer. A big sister nearly 10 years old. Me, on the other side of 40. Lifetimes.


I think it's time for this blog to change, but I don't know how it will. I am no longer living so deeply in the land of broken hearts, but I still want to be here to help others, offer support to those for whom this is a new and terrible way of life. Because there is hope, there is life on the other side of grief.

Life. Never the same, but life nonetheless.

I love you, my baby boy. I always, always loved you.


Monica H said...

There is life after grief. But somehow the grief is still intertwined.

7 years? It sounds like a ligetime yeat feels like it was just yesterday. Thinking of you and Ben and wishing you many blessings in the new year.


Catherine W said...

Thinking of you and Ben. I can hardly believe that over two years have passed for me, lifetimes and the blink of an eye. I'm sure that seven years still feels like the blink of an eye too on occasion.

I'm glad that you've kept this blog and that it was here for me to find when I desperately needed it. Thank you for sharing your experiences and your dear son xo

Debbie said...

Seven years. I know four years feels like a lifetime and the blink of an eye, and I guess that feeling never changes.

Holding you and Ben extra close to my heart, as always. <3

Kim said...

Bless you and bless Ben, who is beloved and cherished.