Every year, 26,000 babies are stillborn in America. In 2003, one of them was my son.

Friday, December 30, 2011

Eight Years Without You

Every year since 2003, at 11:34 am on the 30th of December, I have looked at the clock and thought, "And now I knew." Ben was gone but the long process of labor and delivery loomed, phoning my husband to tell him the terrible news, alerting families and friends.

In the space of a moment, a life changed, a life ended. A lifetime of things not done, words not said, plans and hopes and memories never made.

Eight years. Unimaginable that anyone can live that long without something--someone--so important. But live you do, because there is no other choice.

4 comments:

Catherine W said...

Thinking of you and your family, especially Ben, today. That is a perfect description, so rapidly, a life changes forever, a life ends and takes it with so many hopes and ideas of how the future will be x

Hope's Mama said...

Sorry I'm late to this, I've been away. Your words ring so true.
Ben is loved and remembered, especially on his birthday.
xo

Hannah Rose said...

I am so sorry for your loss. It's good to know we're not alone and others "get it." I see your little paper on the right hand toolbar with your son's hand and footprints. I have the same one for my daughter. I have found so much encouragement in the blogging community. I'd love to have you follow along on my blog as well; www.roseandherlily.blogspot.com

fLargaespada said...

Sad but you have to be strong. I do not know how it feels to lose a son but I know how it feels to lose a father. Hope you are surrounded of love.