It's that time again...October. I wasn't going to bring it up, much, over here, but today I was reminded, yet again, that I am supposed to be over losing Ben.
And so, let me ask you this, those of you who think I should be "over" it. If your husband of 40 years died tomorrow, how soon would you be over it? If your 3-year-old grandchild died next week, how soon would you be over it? If your 35-year-old son died today, how soon would you be over it? Do you not think you would carry it with you for the rest of your days? Do you think you would not think about that particular beloved every day?
I lost one of the three best things I have ever done. And I will talk about him (though I barely talk about him I know you think I dwell on his absence far too much) because I love him. And he is my child every bit as much as the two I have here, living and breathing. And if talking about Ben, and advocating for stillbirth research and support can change the outcome positively for that 50% of babies whose lives might be saved, then no, I will never get over it.
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2 comments:
If it's of any help, I lost a baby when I was 10 weeks pregnant and I an still not over it. I think about it every day. It is less painful now, but I can't forget.
Take care.
With you all the way. I will never be over "it".
xo
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